Most people have more training before they receive their driver’s license than before they become a parent. Educating yourself on how to communicate effectively with your child can be the key to achieving your parenting goals. If you do not have children of your own, these 10 tips can help you whenever you are around children.

1. Draw children out to speak about the things on their minds.

   You can ‘prime the pump’ by talking with them about their favorite foods, toys, movies, video games, etc.

   Hot Tip! Indoor Activities Save everyday household junk. This often makes the best play toys for young children.

2. Verbally reflect the emotions of a child before giving in to your need to teach them something.

   Parents are constantly making the error of educating their child when their child expresses pain. “I hate my nose” is often responded to with, “you have a perfectly good nose” and the child is left to feel all alone with what could become an enormous problem for them in years to come.

3. Teach your child to wait instead of interrupting your conversations.

   One technique is to teach your children to lightly touch your arm and to wait peacefully and quietly to be acknowledged by you. Children who interrupt miss a chance to learn to control their impulses and can upset the flow of an adult’s conversation.

   Hot Tip! Use sunscreen and wear sunglasses to protect your eyes and skin from the damaging rays of the sun. Insist that your children do the same.

4. Play little games whenever you see children.

   For example, you could put something such as a coin in a hand behind your back and ask the child to guess which hand it is in. This is a way to build a strong connection with a child and make a child feel honored.

5. Lower yourself physically to a child’s level by sitting down, bending down, or sitting on the floor.

   It may have been months since any adult has joined the child on their own level.

   Hot Tip! Ask each family member to start a gratitude journal. Younger children can draw pictures instead of words.

6. Hold and play with a child’s toys or trinkets.

   Play is the language of a child. If you stop for even thirty seconds to draw a picture alongside of a child who is coloring, you could become one of their heroes.

7. Tell short stories to children.

   Make the stories up or pull them from your own childhood. Stories can be used to build a connection, to teach a lesson, or just to leave a child feeling better than when the conversation began.

8. Follow up on the promises that you make to children with action.

   Children are usually more hurt than adults by broken promises. Ironically, many people treat their promises to children as less important than their promises to adults.

9. Sacrifice some of your time to interact with children and to focus on them 100%.

   Most adults do not interact with children who are present because the children are not able to meet their needs the way that an adult can. Five minutes invested in the life of a child will pay dividends that an hour invested in the life of an adult may not.

   Hot Tip! Keep a list of reasons you admire them. Sometimes the very things that irritate us the most with children are the strengths they will need to succeed in life.

10. Master the art of Socratic questioning.

    This means that instead of expressing facts or lecturing that you ask a question to stimulate the child’s own reasoning process. Socratic questioning opens up a place in a person’s mind for the answer to be remembered. For example, you could ask, “How do you think we could take better care of the puppy?” instead of telling your child what to do.

About The Author

This piece was written by Dr. Clare Albright, Psychologist and Parenting Coach, and author of “100 Tips for Parents of Two Year Olds”, which can be downloaded for only $5.77 from http://www.ParentsOfTwoYearOlds.com

Perhaps I can call this my New Year’s epistle. I was a Senior Counsellor for many years, and when I got ill sometime back had to retire from that trade, or profession. It was a worthwhile adventure, and it took a decade or two of my life, but here is just a quick essay of sorts on Family Values, as I see it.

The rate of Divorce and break-up of the family is increasing. Fierce forces are tearing us apart, the family, today. It goes something like this: they got married; then came the baby carriage. Part two: they break up and the baby goes with mom. Part Three: now Mom meets divorced man, with two kids, and they marry; now we got mom, dad, stepfather, and three kids, stepbrothers and sisters, a few more grandparents, throw the biology in the well. Woops, mom is pregnant again, Part Four: snuck up on me. Is this case unusual? No! as we should know, it is rather common in the United States today. What happens to the family tree? You plant a new one, but they never grow right do they (or seldom do they grow right).

Often times, getting a second wife, or husband is like picking up someone else’s troubles, ten years in advance. But the story is not over. In the l980s and l990s when I was working with the Bureau of Prisons, and in clinics and hospitals, over 1/3 to ½ of children were living with a mixed if not, scared family; I doubt the statistics has gotten any better. This is over 10% of the population, closer to 13 or 15% I would guess. In the l970s half of all the marriages ended up in divorce, thirty years later, again I say, things have not gotten better. When I grew up, divorce was not really an acceptable word; yes it was said, but whoever said it, everyone else did a double take on the person. Now it is all lost in the wind. The devastating rate of divorces is destroying the base of our society, the joyful family you could say.

In Peru, and other South American Countries I’ve been to, and I’ve been to most all of them now, I have not seen this splintering up of families, which lowers the values within them; nor have I witnessed the mobility of one out of four families picking up roots and moving on each year, as we do in the United States. Our neighbour Jennie, in Peru stays home and cares for her child, as do most of the families I know up in the mountain areas of Peru. When two partners come home from work tired, there has to be more tension, and surely the kids get no friendliness out of this tired family dilemma. So what happens? The kids run to the TV and get their fix of killing, and war movies, gangsters etc (the devil doesn’t have to work hard). And people say: it doesn’t affect the child, it does and we all know it. What we put into our systems, is in it, how it comes out, is normally sideways, and it affects all whom are around you.

In Minnesota, the court system is so liberal, it stinks, you can get a divorce almost overnight, it is harder to get a drivers license.

I think I remember Jesus saying something like: “As it was in the days of Lot (where there was much corruption)…out of Sodom it rained fire and brimstone from heaven, and destroyed them all. Even thus shall it be in the day when the Son of man is revealed (Luke 17:28).

If you know the story of Sodom and Gomorrah, I need not say anything else, but if you don’t, judgment fell, and so we have witnessed in the year 2005, and 2001 for America, if it wasn’t judgment, it was a hell of a bad year for many folks. I hope 2006 will be better, but I doubt it, the roots of society have been ripped out, and the signs for the end times are planted. For those none believers, I’m not trying to persuade you to a religion, it is fact, our society is going down hill—we all know it, and if there is a God, and if the flood was real, and geologist say it was, fire and destruction will come again soon. And if there is no God, we better hope there is, or we are doomed even sooner. But if I was a none believer, I would most likely say: it is true what he says, but what I can I do (besides prayer). Good question, and some of my friends are none believers and are doing more than God’s so called chosen, what a shame. Whatever you are led to do, out of conviction, for humanity, it will be appreciated, perhaps by those who will never know you. We all should remember, this is not a left or right wing thing, it is a societal thing, it just happens to be the writer is a Christian, but I do not want to make any hurdles for anyone, at the end of the road, we all got to live together.

When dealing with your teenager, does this sound familiar? “What ever happened to that sweet little kid we used to have a few years ago?” Teens can be difficult, and this should not be surprising, considering all the changes during adolescence that they go through. You will need to up the ante on your patience to be able to cope with them.

Even though you were once a teenager, and may have been difficult to your parents, it still takes a lot of effort to understand what your teen is going through. It will be your responsibility to bridge the communication gap between you and your child.

This is not always easy, and you will have to do your best during two crucial periods in your childs life - adolescence and young adulthood. Your children will need all the guidance and understanding you can provide. Communication and understanding, during these sometimes trying times, may very well set the tone for the life decisions your child will make.

Here are a few tips that should help with teen parenting bonding issues:

1. Learn What Your Teen Enjoys - When your teen was a child, finding things to do was a snap. But, as they grow into their teens, you will have to work extra hard to learn about what your teens like. It may not be easy, but being able to relate to your teens likes and dislikes is integral to building an open and meaningful relationship with your child.

Remember, to be a good parent, you also have to be a good friend.

2. Being Strict Is Not A Bad Thing - Most teenagers bristle at rules and restrictions. They feel that they are old enough to take care of themselves. While this is partialy true, teens still have a need for restrictions. With new found freedoms, and desires; they could very well hurt themselves if they do not restrain themselves responsibly.

Make your teen understand that he or she will be given greater freedom, but with greater freedom they must develop greater responsibility, and accountability. Freedom without responsibility is useless.

Make sure you help your teen learn to plan ahead. You do not have to plan it for them; just help guide them to make good decisions on their own.

3. Communicate Daily - Daily communication is important in keeping the channels of concern open. You teen will be more inclined to confide in you if you engage in daily conversation. Confiding in someone takes some practice and some trust. This can only be build by meaningful relationships that are facilitated by good communication.

Learning to understand the world your teen lives in will put you in a better position to not only gain their trust, but to have a greater understanding of their overall behavior.

Daily communication will show your teen that you care for them. This is a very important teen parenting factor, since teens will feel more confortable with parents that are actively involved with them. In the absence of parental involvement, teens may turn to unreliable peers when looking for guidence, or comfort. It is very important for a teens parents to provide the guidence and caring they require.

Parents, when you help your children learn to read, you help them open the door to a big, exciting world. As a parent, you can begin an endless learning chain like this: You read to your children, they develop a love of stories and poems, they want to read on their own, they practice reading, and finally, they read for their own information or pleasure. When children become readers, their world is forever wider and richer.

Studies have shown that children that are read to on a consistent basis begin to develop both communication and thinking skills at a much younger age than children that aren’t read to on a consistent basis. In addition, those skills continue to progress and develop much more rapidly in children that are read to consistently. This progression of skills will continue as long as you spend quality time reading with them.

Children appreciate the quality time you spend with them reading books and enjoy good stories as well!

Here are some things you can do to make sure you get your daily readings with your children:

• Read aloud to your children: books, newspaper and magazine articles, the back of the cereal box, labels on cans, or directions - anything with appropriate printed material on it is

• Read poems aloud together to learn about rhythm and repeated sounds in language.

• Point to the words on the page when you read. Move your finger from left to right.
  Hot Tip! Spend time talking to your children. The conversation might seem one sided, but your kids will definitely be listening, and learning.

• Listen to your children read homework or favorite stories to you every day.

• Go to the library together and check out books. Be sure to ask the librarian for good books or to help you find what you need.

• Have books, magazines, and papers around the house, and let your child see that you like to read, too.

• Encourage older children to read to younger children.

• Help experienced readers talk and write about what they read.

• Develop a quality nighttime ritual of reading a few books with your children.

Remember, giving your children a head start in life requires spending time with them - and part of that time should be spent with a good book!

(some information for this article provided by FDA Consumer Magazine)

About The Author

Nicole Niemiec is founder of http://www.hatful-of-seuss.com - one of the largest collections of Dr. Seuss merchandise for sale on the internet.

Parenting skills are something that new parents can only learn on the fly. It is not really something that comes with a set of directions. What parents can do is make the commitment to invest the time, effort, and dedication necessary to raise their children to be honest, responsible people.

It would be impossible to draw up a list of list of hard and fast rules and methods for parenting. Simply because not all family situations are alike, and not all children respond to parenting methods in the same way. If this is so, does that make any talk of ‘learning’ about parenting useless?

Absolutely not! While methods may have differing effects, and every situation calls for a different set of rules, the things that should remain constant are the basic concepts each parent must learn. These concepts will help guide parents in their constant effort to be better parents.

Unconditional Love - Unconditional love is one of the concepts that should permeate every action and every interaction between parent and child. It is also one of the most misunderstood concepts. How a parent expresses this to the child may very well determine how the child views himself, and his/her worth.

Many children grow up with a low sense of self-esteem as a result of many different factors. They may feel that the love they are shown depends on their accomplishments. Or, they may feel unwanted, or unloved.

All parents should, early on, be certain to show their children how important they are, no matter what, so that they can grow-up loving in the same way. This concept is very important in building self worth.

Responsibility - Children should grow up with a sense of responsibility for their actions, and the things around them. Far too many children grow up to be irresponsible parents, friends, and family, not caring or not knowing how to care, and to accept their own responsibilities.

Children who grow without a sense of responsibility too often find themselves blaming other people for things they should be dealing with themselves. Alternately, lack of responsibility training could cause children to blame themselves for things that they have no control over. This is an opposite, but equally undesirable problem.

Responsible children learn to care for and properly manage their time and resources - and ultimately your time and resources as a parent as well!

Respect - Children should be taught to respect at an early age. They learn that there are people that they should answer to, and that there is organization within every social unit. They learn that no matter whom the person they are talking to, that person has worth and should be respected.

This will help make relationships grow smoothly; as respect is one of the foundations of any good relationship. Children who learn to give and expect respect in return, adjust better to other people than those who don’t.

Conclusion - As a parent one helpful illustration might be to think of raising children as being like flying a kite - you let the kite fly into to the wind, giving slack as the kite flies higher, and reining it in if overwhelmed by the wind. But, like the kite, if properly flown your children could accomplish greater heights of personal development with the help of your support and parenting.