Have you ever wondered why children turn to drugs? Some turn to alcohol. But that is from a different reason. Drugs are used when a child has a “death wish.”

A child, much as do some dysfunctional grown-ups, have too much pressure in their lives. Sometimes to the point of not being able to deal with it, as we are used to saying. This pressure builds upon itself, as well as builds in a sort of “overload” to become a major obstacle to living life.

Thus we see drunken children, and adults, who’s stomach maybe be full of beer or wine, even whiskey. But that is an outward sign of the trouble that fills their heads. Trouble in the head can lead to trouble showing emotion. Or because of the inability to show emotion publicly, cause trouble in the head. The two are synonymous to one another often.

I am not a Doctor. I am, however all to familiar with this subject. I ain’t kidding you here, when I saw that! I have life experience.

First, there is a “problem” in a person’s life. Then, the “problem”, having been identified somewhat by the effected person, the brain starts to solving the perceived and identified “problem”. That, then is the second step, not the first step, in a process that leads many to disaster.

The brain, through its emotional filter, processes the “problem” the person himself, or herself, has “identified”. That too is the beginning of more serious, depending upon age, of outward signs that others can judge!

This person described, is not able to “back off” or stand aside mentally, to see him or her self in context. “Context” here meaning “within ones own life experience as it is in reality”, not within the “being” they themselves identify with.
People “identify” themselves. They alone use this identifier to define themselves, and their way of “seeing” who they are in life, as they live it.

This “identifier” then, becomes the person you see in reality. If a person, from many sources living their life, identifies with losers, they will be a “loser. If they identify with success, many times, as we would judge a person, be “successful”.

You may think we shouldn’t judge. However, that is the way life is made up to be, so far as humankind is structured. Both physically and mentally made up.
They, you and I, judge other people, but also ourselves. And that, friends, is the crux of young peoples whole real problem. Not the one their brains is in fact working upon to solve!

You see, as you are awake, you work. And in working, even if it is gardening, or space science, you are working on problems. Solving problems is a good way to look at most work, believe it or not, as “solving problems”. Once this attempt at solving any problem is started by us mentally, we may sleep, but the part of the “problem solving” brain, does not! In fact, now that you are asleep, it can, without confronting other “problems” and other stimulus, that is, other input like thinking, eating, talking, reading, it can now work upon your problem, as you perceived it to be. You see then, that you have to “identify” any problem, in order for the brain to solve it! The brain is not in control, excepting for what we call “the arts”, of your environment, and all its enormous amount of daily, hourly, minute, of input. It only thinks in real time, upon real events and things, or it, during sleep, works upon “problem solving” of the ‘perceived by you”, problems you have encountered and identified as being problems that need solving, needing solutions to. Both consciously and unconsciously, it must work out the solutions to this “identified by self” problems. Now that we have
“identified” why we have problems, and how the brain works to “solve” those problems we both identify and put into priority, during daytime, or awake times, we can work now on understanding the “real problem” that leads to drinking and or drugging, of ourselves. Or that is, to be more exact, the reasons we have developed a “problem” of drinking or drugging.

Only however, in the case of children. We do not have the space to even approach understanding of the much more complexities of Adult drinking and drugging problems. But that is often a result of, and onset within, childhood. So we might get close to understanding the young adults Identifiers also.

So basically, the child, having “identified” numerous “problems” during the daylight hours, and now, asleep or awake, “prioritizes” those problems, their brain starts to work, later, on those problems that concern the chides everyday life. In real time, your child lives his or her life, as they begin to “perceive” it to be. There must be a perception of “self”, otherwise, we become true clones of our parents. I’m not kidding you here! What an awful thought, that is, to a child’s mind!

Then, after working to solve the perceived problem, that the child has in the daytime, identified, the solution is or is not, accurate. Depending upon how, and why, the child perceives itself as being. If the child sees itself as being “bad”, there will be a solution that is also “bad”. If the child sees itself as being basically “good”, then there will be a resulting “good” solution. That is why we say that some are always thinking of ways to be “bad”, and mostly ignoring those that we say are always “good”. When in actuality, they had little, consciously, at the time, to do with it!

Base is the “pattern” parents instill, and also, the “pattern” others display in front of the child. Both good and bad patterns. The child, from the very moment of opening his or her eyes, chooses! The child chooses a “pattern”, that will later become ensconced as his or her perceived life. That then, I think is the key, the true crux of this being a drunk or doper!

You see, as a child, you thought as a child. (heard that somewhere?) And being a child, you also perceived problems as a child. And your brain, being in a childlike state of trying to “grow-up”, that is, becoming wise enough to solve the chides problems, the child perceived, identified, and prioritized, “units” to that need solving. And there is the basis for further acts by children that will need to be corrected. Or not corrected, depending upon our, adult, perceptions of “right and wrong”.

By the way, don’t think I am into “be what you want”, and or; “whatever you do is right!” theory and practice. If you, as they do often in school teaching children, give them this scenario: “You are lost at sea in a small lifeboat. You have been out so long that you are starving. You have a friend, and your pet dog, with you. Who would you eat? The friend, or the dog?” How horrible that is! To set that scenario, and to confront any child with that! It alone is child abuse!

No matter in what context you place such a question, it must be said to be child abuse! That should not be allowed. If you ask adults the same question, in the same context, they will put voice to such outrage. Instead of the child’s simple “Yuck” and then subsequent laughter. The adult, with enough experience, knows that the question is both improper, and so hypothetical as to be ignored! And being adults, they will ignore it! Children, on the other hand, are taught to believe the teacher is both correct, in teaching, and in ruling upon their, the chides, deportment. Thus they can be taught, within the context of “schooling”. Otherwise, children love mischief and a type of “anarchy”, would then rise. In proper simple language, you must have calm and disciplined children in order to teach them anything.

What has this to do with a child turning to dope or drink? Well, everything! The child, being a child, thinks; identifies; categorizes; works upon; the problems it faces every day. And later, the chides brain “problem solves” the above mentioned items as described above. But only as a child! Did you “get” that?

A child, having a chides brain, both identifies problems as being problems to THEM, and the subsequent working of the solving of those perceived problems IDENTIFIED with, is worked upon by the brain, while they sleep. So, basically, in plain English, the child, thinking as a child, judges him or her, self, to be rightfully dead! They have a “death wish” as we term it. A judgement by a child cannot be condoned, can it? The child is too young, for instance, at the ripe old age to judge you, of murder! Or of anything in the way of a lessor crime.

But, being children, and not being old enough, nor wise enough, to be a proper judge of themselves, do indeed, judge themselves. And they can be very much more harsh that you might be, in that judgement, and subsequently, the sentencing of themselves. By use of their brains, which have not aged enough to become wise enough to judge, they don’t know that! They don’t know that they are not old enough to judge! Until the brain they have, “problem solves” and becomes wise enough to know that the child is yet a child, and not old nor experienced enough to be judgement of itself! So the Judge-child condemns itself to a life on dope, or drinks, in order to forgo the confrontation of the sentence, when it was too young to be the judge anyway, in the first place!

Just as speech, and language, and typing skills, have to be taught. Just as math or science, has to be taught. So too is the ability to perceive oneself within the real actual world, and its accompanying results of the chides actions or inaction within the scope of that real world and its society. That also has to be taught! Otherwise, children are locked in a “Peter Pan” like world, where they never grow up! This is the result, and its aftermath of destruction, of judging oneself, killing others, shooting fellow classmates, and all other crimes. That is the only explanation that can be used to describe a chides motivation to self destruction! Because all persons, all human beings, first, seek self-preservation! Not death! The brain is just not naturally going to go to self-destruction! That too is a taught-learned experience.

I should know. Now, where is the soap? My shadow has fled!

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In this article, I am going to write about the ways in which parents can start to educate their children about alcohol from an early age. As we are all aware alcohol can create many problems and is the cause of many modern day tragedies such as car accidents and street fights which lead to fatalities. I therefore think it is important as parents to make our children aware of the dangers of drinking alcohol as our schools are more interested in spending time talking about sexual education and drugs. It has to be said however that these are also two very important issues which should also be discussed in the home.

When watching for example the soaps on the television, our children are seeing some of their childhood heroes drinking alcohol and seemingly enjoying it. Just recently our superb English cricket team went on a seventy-two hour drinking session after winning the ashes cricket tour against Australia. The media revelled in showing the players meeting Tony Blair rather worse for wear. This only goes to glamouratize alcohol making it look cool in the eyes of our children.

Our children may at times witness a parent or parents who is/are drunk. They are bound to have questions and think about alcohol at times in their life, much as in the same way that I am sure we all did as children. They are likely to have certain questions in their mind such as what does it feel like to be drunk? How does it feel in the morning when you are hungover? Is drinking alcohol a good or a bad thing? What are the reasons people choose to drink alcohol in the first place rather than say coke?

I had similar questions when I was a child but did not feel that I was able to talk to anyone about them. I want my own children to feel confident to ask their parents about any subject and would like them to ask questions rather than guess at what the answers might be.

When discussing alcohol with your child, perhaps when you are watching a television program where people are drinking as a way of bringing up the subject, it is important to give them accurate information. For example it is important to tell them about not only about the negative side of drinking but also about the positive side, the fact that it can be a pleasurable experience.

With my own children, I am trying to teach them that it is possible to socialise and to have a good time without the need to drink alcohol. I have now decided for my own personal reasons to stop drinking alcohol altogether and feel a lot better for it.

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She meant well. So did my dad. But my parents’ approach to sexuality was ridden with discomfort and fear. My dad couldn’t even say the word much less talk about it. He would refer to sex as “dat thang.” He would say, “you know, if you do this it’ll lead to dat thang.” He and mom both were so nervous.

My mother and father told me that men were dogs. They continued that a girl and a guy could not be friends. And if a guy got close to you, all he wanted was “dat thang.” By all appearances, I was a success story. I didn’t have a baby, an abortion or an STD. But those words of mistrust and fear laid dormant inside of me.

It wasn’t until my college years that the power of those words manifested. I fell head-over-heels, upside, downside, and sideways in love. He was an older guy, so mature, so confident and so lawd-have-mercy good-looking! He was so self-assured and had a rhythm about him that rendered me absolutely and undeniably defenseless.

Most folks blink in disbelief when I tell them we didn’t have sex. But it’s the absolute truth. Without having sex or even coming close to having sex, I fell for him. It was his manner with me. He was gallant and chivalrous. He treated me like an absolute queen and I felt so lucky to be with him.

Like many women, I fell in love with my emotions and my ears. His energy was so disarming that he didn’t have to touch me at all. His words were the elixir that filled every emotional fiber of my being. I was so sprung. Blinded by my feelings, perceptions and fantasies about our future, I convinced myself that he and I were for keeps. I imagined us married and happy.

Then there was the ultimate blow. I heard he was getting married. I didn’t see it coming. It was like a dam broke and the waters knocked me off my feet. As I watched him exchange vows with another, those words started to fester like cancer. I criticized myself for being such a baby. Had I been more mature and had sex with him, he wouldn’t have been able to abandon me like this. He would have seen me as a woman and not a child. After all, my parents had told me that men only wanted one thing. I failed to give him that one thing. It was my fault. Such were my thoughts.

Innocence was lost. There was a guy whom I knew liked me. My pain drove me into his arms. I felt he would be a safe place as he had been running after me for a year. He had written me a barrage of love letters so I was convinced that he cared. Needless to say, we had sex. He was my first. I remember how I felt afterward. I felt satisfied that I was finally “a woman.”

I called my first the next day, excited and full of hope, and detected a coolness. I decided to disregard it when he said he was tired. He said he couldn’t come to see me that day. It wasn’t long before I realized he was no longer interested in me. This only added insult to injury and started a domino effect in my life. There was unfinished business and I unconsciously used subsequent relationships to finish it. Unfortunately, I kept attracting unavailable men and subjecting myself to further victimization.

As a parent, I understand that my mother and father were trying to protect me the best way they knew how. We parents fear our children getting involved in sex before they are ready. But could we be setting them up for a bad experience later? Is there a better way?

In my article, “Sex: What Fathers Need To Know About Their Daughters,” I talk about approaching sexuality from a standpoint of empowerment rather than fear.

Adirondack chairs have been used for many years to help individuals relax in the outdoors. Every member of the family can enjoy the comfort the Adirondack chair, even your children. There are so many products on the market today made especially for children, including furniture. Children love the thought of having a chair that fits their size. You might ask yourself, why should I spend the money on a chair that my child will one day outgrow?

Handcrafted Adirondack chairs made out of quality wood, such as teak, will last forever. This is why is can be a good investment to purchase your child a teak Adirondack chair. Teakwood is durable in all weather conditions and can be left outside for decades. It has a high natural oil content that continually preserves the wood. You may also notice it is extremely hard for your children to damage teakwood. An Adirondack chair is something that a child can preserve and pass on to their children.

Adirondack chairs are commonly used outdoors, though they can be used indoors as well. Families that purchase a child an Adirondack chair usually spend a great deal of time outside enjoying nature. All family members should have their own chair to enjoy in the backyard for family picnics or to appreciate a nice summer day by the swimming pool. A children’s Adirondack chair can be a perfect place for your child to read a book, work on a project or take a break. You can even purchase a child’s Adirondack chair that is specially painted to fit your backyard color scheme.

Children love to get outside so they can bask in the freedom and physical expression that a beautiful day has to offer. You can create a backyard play area for your child in a few easy steps. First, find a play space outside that offers some sun, shade and either a cushion of grass or pavement for riding toys. Secondly, set up your child-sized chairs or picnic table for snacks and crafts. Brighten up your child’s day and encourage them to enjoy the outdoors. Purchasing an Adirondack chair for every member of your family gives everyone the opportunity to enjoy the outdoors together. The kids will especially love the feeling of having a chair that fits them perfectly and you cannot find a more comforting chair than that of the classic Adirondack chair.

An excellent way to have fun for yourself and your entire family is having a swimming pool in your backyard. Although a swimming pool can be fun, it can also be especially dangerous if you have kids present.

It is a smart idea to wait until your children are least five or older before you decide to put a pool on your property. However, if you already own a swimming pool, there are certain ways that you can protect your kids.

One thing you should constantly keep in mind is to never let your children to be alone in the vicinity of your pool. Children are naturally drawn to the water, and all it takes is a moment for them to fall in the pool.

If you and your kids are at your pool and you must leave the area for a moment, you should always take your kids with you.

It is highly recommended that you always have plenty of safety equipment around your pool all the time. Safety items can save the life of a child or anyone else that cannot swim.

You should also get a shepherd’s hook because you can use it to pull someone out of the pool. You should also install a phone at your pool, as you can quickly call for help in the case of an emergency.

If you do not posses a fence around your pool you should get one right away. Having a fence is an excellent method to protect your pool from children. With a protective fence installed, you do have to worry about children falling in while you are away from the pool.

A fence should be at least six foot high, with a locking gate. This way, no one can use the pool without the key.

Every time you have kids or people that can’t swim at your pool, you should always be within reach of them, so you can react immediately if they fall in.